I have been catching glimpses of stories about Michael Jackson here and there and several have really disturbed me: 1) how he was abused and neglected by his dad so much so that he became more childlike as he grew older 2) how he was so fearful about aging that he would rather have died than get older.
This last one really got me thinking. American society is so totally preoccupied with staying young that plastic surgeons are having a hey day! Let's Botox those lines away and lift those sagging jowls and eyes. Other cultures truly value their elders- lines, wrinkles and all!! It's a beautiful thing. Not so here. Let me let you in on a secret. This is tied in with Americans' fear of death. If we don't age, then we're too young to die! When we look in the mirror and don't see wrinkles, then we're sure to stay around for a long time, right? Wrong!
I'm not here to bash plastic surgery, because I am all about trying to look as good as we can, but I am trying to help you see the world through different eyes than perhaps, you have before. Aging is a tough gig or as someone once said, "aging is not for sissies!" And you now why? Because it's a series of losses that most people don't realize or recognize as losses: loss of youth, energy, health, beauty, etc. Changes in our bodies redefine us. We aren't who we used to be and that is a bitter pill to swallow!
But we can do something about it! It's our ATTITUDE toward our losses, as well as our losses, that affect how we age! We can celebrate who we are inside, at the same time that we are learning how to accept how we appear on the outside. Sure, we can die young and remain forever youthful, like Princess Diana, Grace Kelly, Elvis, Michael Landon and many, many more. But I'll bet if you asked these people if they had the choice to die young and pretty or to live out longer lives with "wear and tear," what do think would be their answers? Better yet, given that choice, what would be yours?
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you raise an interesting discussion. i have to admit, there is something about dying young, where the glamour and youth remains, that is both tragic but beautiful. compare our idea of john lennon with paul mccartney. we never saw john lennon with wrinkles, messy divorces, life's stresses. and i think you are right...it has to be our attitude, and our society's view on growing older. instead of pity for those who are older, how can we gain more respect? i do think men have the benefit of the argument, with men's wrinkles more accepted, men's grey hair more dashing, etc.(paul mccartney actually still looks pretty good) i dont know if its realistic to be excited about wrinkles and grey hair though. so i'm going to follow what you do...take care of my skin as much as i can..and the rest of it, be grateful for what i have...because i do think that a healthy attitude can shave years off your face. i hope!
ReplyDeleteListen. I, too, grapple with this issue! Heck yeah, most people would love to be remembered as young and vibrant. I am constantly fascinated....and saddened....by the aging process. Not all men age well. Look at Robert Redford! But yes, men certainly get more leeway when they age than women do, that's for sure. I would love to be remembered as I was in my prime, but then, on the other hand, if I died young, I would miss out on so many things, such as watching my grandchildren grow. There is no right or wrong here. We don't have a choice as to how or when we will die, but it sure does make one think, doesn't it?
ReplyDeletegreat post ma!
ReplyDeleteI hear you. We all think about this, but my feeling is that I would rather have wrinkles than the alternative. When I think about people I know who did not get to stay around to see children or grandchildren grow up, it makes me very sad. So if I have a few wrinkles and age spots so be it..
ReplyDeleteI love the new research showing that we age like our mothers. Mine is still kicking and fiesty at 85 and really did not wrinkle until the last 5 years. I want to keep her around for a long time wrinkles and all.
We need to treat our skin with care to make sure that we do what need to keep it smooth for as long as we can. But I for one am not going to do anything rash - like surgery. My family will have to love me wrinkles and all.
I feel sorry for people like Michael Jackson who could not live with getting older. Yes, men have it easier, but there are many distinguished older women.
Just be happy and well!!